Parck Off Buddy
I went online to cityofchicago.org to pay for a parking ticket I got when my car was parked during the designated street cleaning time. It was the 3rd Friday of the month when I thought it was only the 2nd Friday. The first part on the website is where you enter your ticket number. I thought it was kinda funny that there were 10 fields to enter your ticket numbers in. I guess that's to accommodate the drivers who often say "Damn the man" when looking for a parking space. So anyways, after I entered my one ticket number I realized something peculiar. When issuing my ticket they got one of the digits on my plate wrong. So now I have a little bit of a dilemma. Do I pay the ticket, or do I not. Afterall, if I don't pay it all I gotta say is that it wasn't my car, just look at the plate number.

What do you think? Pay it or not?

Why?
...because pooping is fun.

The Poop Machine

Get Your Cubs On
One of my favorite websites which I frequent daily is ChicagoSports.com. You can probably take a wild guess why I like it. A few weeks ago they started this thing where if you send them pictures of yourself or others in Cubs gear then they'd put it on their website. I sent them one, and low and behold they put it up.

Nationally Recognized Cubs Fan

The caption they put is a bit different than what I sent them. Here's what I wrote, "Shown here is Megan Brewer from Fayetteville, NC and Brad Esposito from just down the road. Taken May 10th at Wrigley Field during a night game against the NY Mets. Maddux shut them out, Corey hit two over, and the Cubs won 7-0."

Let Your Taquito Shine
Last night Gov't Mule was headlining at Navy Pier so I had the opportunity to see them live for my first time. My cousin Shawn called me a little before I left and told me he was going to the concert so I met up with him and a couple of his friends. The place was full of old "Dead Heads" and even though there was reserved seating people just stood wherever. Overall the show was great, and I was only 40 feet or so from Warren Haynes. Some guy went on stage and played the bongos and some massive wooden instrument made from a tree trunk. The hippies loved that shit. They also ended in two of my favorite songs of theirs so that was cool. Afterwards I got on the bus home and fell asleep in the back. When I woke up I was about half a mile north of my apartment so I had to walk back. Its cool though cause there was a 7-11 on the way there so I stopped in for a late night Taquito.

OBJECTIVE: Retarded
A few years ago (maybe 3) Charlie found this amazing website called "OBJECTIVE: 4 Kids." It was basically a fanatical christian website filled with downright ridiculousness. They meant well, but they were actually pretty offensive to people with other beliefs...and now France. It had weird cartoon characters for kids and a section on some kind of science fair where kids made science projects supporting the argument that dinosaurs coexisted with humans, kangaroos originated from Israel and other crazy shit that like. The site is temporarly down right now, but their Cafepress.com website is still up and running though. When I first saw this website I found something amazing I wanted to get, but I never did. I never forgot about it though, and just the other day I hunted the site down and bought it. Here is my future pride and joy come 2-5 business days. Check out the description for the thongs!

My phone call with JCPenny
Me: "Hi, whats the difference between these Relaxed Fit and Loose Fit khakis?
Lady: "One, is relaxed, the other is loose."
Me: "Uh-huh."

True Facts
Here's another website with a bunch of interesting stuff. Below are some of my favorites.

• In 2002, women earned 742,000 bachelor's degrees. Men earned only 550,000 during the same year. The difference is growing so large that many colleges now practice (quietly) affirmative action for male applicants.
• The day after President George W. Bush was reelected, Canada's main immigration website had 115,000 visitors. Before Bush's re-election, this site averaged about 20,000 visitors each day.
• Oprah Winfrey and Elvis Presley are distant cousins.
• More than 2,500 left-handed people are killed each year from using products that are made for right-handed people.

Shomer Shabis!
Tonight I went to the nicest bowling alley I've ever seen. Its called 10pins and its located at the House of Blues here in Chicago. The shoes look brand new and there are MASSIVE TV screens all along the wall at the end of the lane. They were showing the Cubs game, the NBA playoffs, and music videos of the songs that were playing overhead on the speakers. Each lane had its own server and they had a large beer, wine, and martini selection. They also served a bunch of food that was actually very god. What's cool was that we had stuff like grilled cheese, chicken tenders, mac n' cheese, s'mores, and cookies n' milk. It was simple food, but was really good. By far the best grilled cheese I've ever had in my life. This place wasn't exactly cheap though. There was 5 of us and our total bill for food, drinks, and bowling was over $200. Good thing someone had a $100 gift certificate with us.

Lanky R Us
I really could use a store with the name shown above. Instead I'm forced to go to JCPenny.com under their "special sizes" section to find pants that will actually fit me right. I've been trying to buy some black pants in my size (30 x 34) for work (knakis get too dirty looking) and the bastards are telling me the item isn't available. Fuck that, give me my damn pants ya cock-monkey.

So I think I'll just drink some beer and play some PS2 instead.

George Washington Grew Marijuana In His Garden
I try to keep this blog full of fun interesting things, but most of the time all you get is journalistic feces. In order to make up for tha how bout I just give you the link for a website that is full of fun interesting things? Word, here ya go bitches.

Home Sweet Home
Here are some pictures of my condo. Its just a little studio apartment, but I like it. I'd rather have a studio in a nice building/neighborhood than a 1 BR in a crappy building/neighborhood. I think I'm going to stay here for a couple years at least then I'll look into buying something in a neighborhood a little more south and with a 1 BR. At least that's the ideal plan right now.
From the Entrance
Facing South East
Facing West
Facing South
Facing North East

Ok, some of these files aren't uploading and its pissing me off. I'm just going to leave them up there and try to fix it later. There's still 2 in there that work though.

The Junkyard Dog
So I finally got my car to a State Farm certified auto shop for an official estimate of my damage. Turns out yes, the car is considered a total loss. The charge to fix it would be greater than 80% of the cars worth so basically State Farm is telling me, "Fuck yo ride bitch!" Fair enough then. We're still in the process of getting the details worked out, but here is basically whats going to happen. Since I want to keep my car despite the damage, State Farm is going to give me money equal to the value of my car which is around $2,500 (not bad for a car with 188,000 miles on it huh?) minus a small salvage fee ($50 or so). They are also going to drop me from their collision insurance since it will be technically considered a salvaged vehicle. Considering the damage is purely cosmetic, and I practically never drive it anymore I think its a pretty sweet deal, and I'll take their money. Its like I sold my car, but I still get to keep it.

Say Hello Cookie
Earlier tonight I got a voicemail from Pat and Charlie. All that was said was, "1-2-3, Suck my deee-ock!"