Joke Time (read it out loud)
Why did the duck go to rehab?




...cause he was a quack-head!

Flobee using the Flowbee

If it Smells Like Funk...
After sharing an elevator with my Favorite Neighbor I now know that not only is a pervert, but he also smells awful. Seeing that he's a "whore hound"I guess that's just what a high concentration of gonorrhea smells like.

Feel The Rhythm, Feel The Rhyme...
There's this old Jamaican dude I work with who is one of the most random guys I've ever known. Today, out of nowhere, he comes up to me to tell a little story. He said in a thick Jamaican accent, "I had this bitch back in Jamaica. Prettiest mother fucker on the island, but she was a thief! A damn thief! Her mother was too!"

My Favorite Neighbor
You might remember a previous post I made about a guy in my building who wears a shirt that say's "I Ain't Nothing But a Whore Hound." I just saw the same guy earlier tonight, but this time he was wearing a different shirt. It was made in the same style as the other, except this one said, "I Need a Sexy Sugar Mama." This old dude is officially my favorite neighbor. Fuck Mr. Rogers.

A Blessing and a Curse
Living in Chicago I am blessed with having great musical acts all at my doorstep. Looking at ticketmaster.com and pollstar.com I see Weezer, James Taylor, David Gray, Tommy Castro, Mike Doughty, Bernard Allison, and many others will all be in Chicago in just the next two months. The problem though, is that the people I want to go see these shows with aren't in Chicago. So listen up you sons of bitches. Get on a damn plane and hurry the fuck over. You know who you are.

Best/Worst Idea Ever
If a company can have so much success with a themed restaurant based on the mega-popular film Forrest Gump, maybe I can become rich by opening a restaurant based on another mega-popular film. Except I can make mine based on Schindler's List.

...I'll stop there, but those that know me best, know how much personal restraint that just took me.

GAH!
















Winner of the 2005 Ugliest Dog Contest
Click here for the article

Cheesian Head
Working behind the counter at Kinko's was an Asian guy who spoke with a Wisconsin accent. He also kept saying "sweet" and calling me "boss."

Blew my mind.

New Featured Flava
The previous Flava hasn't been at the top for very long, but the ones below it have overextended their stay on the sidebar list. That and I'm bored as fuck! The one I'm bringing you today is a fantastic classic by the legendary B.B. King. This one should be the themesong for the music lover in you.

Without further ado, I give you I Like To Live The Love. Close your eyes and let this one consume you. Enjoy!

Doin My Part
As you may have noticed from reading this blog, I tend to avoid homeless people around here. I'm a firm believer in the saying "Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he eats for a lifetime." I don't like just giving cash to random people when its only a small temporary solution to their problem. In many cases, depending on what they use with the money, it may be hurting them more than helping. I think career advice would be a much more valuable to these people than some pocket change.

Since I've been here I've wanted to do my part towards helping the situation. I spent a good bit of time researching and I've decided to donate $50 monthly to the Greater Chicago Food Depository. They basically make food for over 600 needy agencies in the city and they also have a program where they provide job training in their food kitchens. The job training part is what really appealled to me. That and about 1/3 of the people they feed are children.

Things That Make You Go Hmm?
...like Asian guys wearing a Malcom X shirt.

Yeah, I saw it today.

Auto response from Emeralds l Stole:
"i true friend, i think, is someone who when you say, 'i don't want to be on facebook' makes you a profile anyway and then feels free to edit it for you. And when you say, 'i don't want a blog' they follow through the same way- set up an account and even beging blogging for you."

Welcome to the Blog Community
Shannon (well, someone on behalf of shannon) has made herself a blog. Lets give a big blogger welcome to BonersNButts.

New Featured Flava
Its been a long while since there was a new one of these. Ever since ECU dropped me from their free bandwith I've been without webspace, but now I've found a new source that won't charge me anything.

This Featured Flava is from the new (and fantastic mind you) Weezer album I recently bought. This particular track "Freak Me Out" is dedicated to the special people I come across from time to time when riding on public transportation.

...Ain't Shit but Hoes and Tricks
Here's a conversation I overheard earlier today. Paraphrased a bit.
Girl: "How come you didn't call me the other day?"
Guy: "Because I heard you were a ho, and I don't want to be messin' with no ho."

Megzapalooza
Meg's second trip to visit me in Chicago has come and gone. We both had a great time of course doing some touristy stuff again, but different touristy stuff atleast. We watched the Navy Pier fireworks show from a schooner, ate dinner at my restaurant, went to Shedd Aquarium, went to the Art Institute, went to Millenium Park, ate at Cereality, ate at the restaurant Thyme which has one of the best outdoor dining areas in Chicago, saw a great improv act at Second City, ate at our favorite asian restaurant Ecce Cafe, and went to see the new John Cusack movie.

Thanks for the great week Megz! You rock my face off!