Love This Man

Greg Maddux just turned 40 years old and this season is so far the best start of his entire Hall of Fame career. In his first 5 starts he is 5-0 and has the lowest ERA in the MLB.

He is now just one win shy of tying Nolan Ryan and Don Sutton for 13th place on the all-time career wins list. All the while Maddux is as humble as he always is. Such as when he says, "Starting pitchers sometimes get too much credit when the team wins... Guys put up runs constantly when I'm out there. Runs make you look good as a pitcher." Not only is he a great player, but also a class act.

Someday I'll get to tell my grandchildren about how I got to see this guy pitch several times in Wrigley Field.

In related news, 4 of the 6 best winning records in the MLB are all in the Cubs division. Thankfully, the Cubs are one of them, but the other teams in the NLCS need to start losing so we can make a playoff appearance.

What T-Shirt Am I Going to Where?

Don't deny it, you imagine yourself performing music in front of a sellout crowd too. When I think about it, I think playing Made Up My Mind by David Gray would be very fun to do. That and any Stevie Ray Vaughan style guitar solo. Also, just once, and only once, would I like to be a member of Rammstein and perform Du Hast in front of 20,000...southern bapist youth.

Made Up My Mind is also the latest Featured Flava so check it out.

Sweet Mother of Blasphemy

Another fantastic video clip

No Wanking for Derrick

Cubs All-Star 1st baseman Derrick Lee broke his wrist in a base-running collision last night, and they're saying he could be out 2-3 months because of it. Of those polled at ChicagoSports.com, 46% think the Cubs are now "done." I disagree. While Lee is a great player coming off an amazing season in 2005 he is still just 1 of 9 positions on the field and in the lineup. The Cubs infield is also deep enough so that his spot can be replaced with a legitimate player.

I'm still confident the Cubs will have a successful season this year.

Perineal Body

Head to your nearest IKEA store to purchase some Grundtal.

...as if you needed another one.

Because Violence is Cool

The Easter Bunny Hates You

Happy Jesus Zombie Day

Employee: "I don't want to work Easter, I have a 2 month old baby I want to take to church."
Me: "The kid is 2 months old, he won't even know whats going on."
Employee: "You're the devil!"
Me: "Yeah, I know."

In Wrigleyville After The Game

Random Drunk Guy: "Hey, did the Cubs win today?"
Me: "No"
Random Drunk Guy: "No, they won! They always win you dumb fuck!"
Me: "Uhhh"

Shortly after Pat, Charlie, and I decided we should do the same thing to someone else. So I asked some other drunk guy, "Hey, did the Cubs win today?" His only response was an angry leer.

In Honor of Jon Redman

Take a look at the latest volume of the "For Dummies" series.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!
caution: innapropriate acts shown, you've been warned!

The Power of the MoBoo

I've finally decided on a name for the new fish. I've had some options that I've been sitting on for a while now, but I ended up not going with any of them. Its been taking me so long because I've been working like a bitch this past week so fish names were low on my list of things to think about. I finally decided the other night as I was walking past the tank and the name just came to me and it felt like a fit.

Without further ado, Ladies and Germs I present to you, Bernie. To tell you a little bit about Bernie, he's a real spaz and doesn't like the camera, but he can eat the hell out of some zucchini.