Bitches Love Cash
Today at work I overheard a waitress I work with complain about women being bad tippers. She showed for me a 15% tip on her credit card receipt as evidence. This confused me because at the end of a shift I usually average a little below 15% in tips (cause people are assholes) so a 15% tip would be just fine with me. With curiosity I asked what she usually gets in tips, and she replied with, "20-25%." Knowing this made me wish I had an hourglass figure and a hot pair of breasts. My days of tipping hot bitches a little extra just cause they're hot are over.

Speaking of tipping, I just want to make a little public service announcement here. The universally accepted standard tip is 15% of your total check. Note that if you had something comped, even though you're no longer paying for it, the server still took the order and brought it out to you so it should be considered in the total. If the server went through extra efforts for you or was exceptional in their responsibilities it is appropriate to provide a 20% tip. Unless the server put forth a crappy effort DO NOT tip less than 15%. If you do then you are an asshole and I would appreciate it if you stayed at home and ate your own feces instead of wasting my time.

Keep in mind that tips are not supplemental income for servers; it’s their main source of income since servers make 1/2 of minimum wage ($2.13/hr). If everyone tipped the way a lot of people I serve then I would no doubt starve to death. Do you want the death of some poor server on your hands? Didn't think so.