Akward Times

A few weeks ago my boss-lady tried to get me some Cubs tickets from our Budweiser sales rep. Since Budweiser is an official sponsor of Wrigley Field it's said they always have tickets laying around for their clients. Clients being me. Instead of Cubs tickets the dumb cunt gave us 2 tickets to see Third Eye Blind at the House of Blues. At first I couldn't think of one song by them, but I knew their name and knew they were pop music has-beens. To refresh my memory I listened to song samples on iTunes and then it all came back to me.

Their songs reminded me of my early High School days. Back when the only music I knew about was the then-current pop rock found on the radio station 95.1. It was the only kind I knew about, but I knew I didn't it. If I were to write an autobiography about my life as a listener of music, I would name that chapter, "Lost and Without a Soul"

So instead of watching them live, which is what I would be doing right now, I'm instead bashing them. God bless America!

Call Me Honky

"I like you Cracker"
-One of my wonderful employees

Whippersnappers

While in North Carolina for my brother's wedding, I was on the phone riding in the car with my mom and grandparents. When I got off the phone my grandpa said, "Later,' that's how the young people say "goodbye" now. 'Later."

Funny to get a different perspective on the little things.

Anal Bum Cover

Everyone knows that if you are going to operate a business in today's world you need a domain name. Some companies choose their domain names innocently based on their company/organization's name. Some of us on the other hand see cheap laughs.

1. A site called 'Who Represents' where you can find the name of the
agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name is
www.whorepresents.com

2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at
www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at
www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at
www.therapistfinder.com

5. Then of course, there's the Italian Power Generator company:
www.powergenitalia.com

6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales: www.molestationnursery.com

7. If you're looking for computer software, there's always
www.ipanywhere.com

8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is
www.cummingfirst.com

9. Then, of course, there are these brainless art designers, and their
whacky website: www.speedofart.com

10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at
www.gotahoe.com

Bleacher Bummin'

I got to see my very first Cubs game from the bleachers today. In all the games I've been to I've always ended up in one of the regular seats, but today was different. Its a whole different atmosphere in the bleachers. Its mega-casual, sunny, and has kind of a frat party feel to it. I was also just a mere 8 feet away from catching a home run ball by a John Mabry. Seeing that ball come straight down to me, only to veer to the right at the last few moments was pretty damn cool. One of these days I'd like to actually catch one.

Sweet Mother of Bloglessness

This is how I break my blogless streak...

I got some spam in one of my email accounts today that advertised a website with "pretties with sticks" YIKES!

(note: picture not included in this post for obvious reasons)

They Call Me Blumpkin

So I was supposed to go in to work today at 12:00, but boss lady said that since we have inventory tonight I might as well come in at 2:00 with her and she can pick me up instead of riding the bus. Then, around 1:00pm she called to tell me she was out drinking late last night so we're just going to go in at 3:00-3:30 instead.

Gotta love riding the curtails of the boss's excuses.

Dr. Devil Dog

I was watching CNN and they had on a clip of the Surgeon General talking about second hand smoke. Did you know this guy actually dresses like a real General? He wears a jacket with medals all over the front and on the shoulders just like something a military general would wear. The only difference is his is white. Does this mean the postmaster general has one a blue/grey version of the same uniform?

Oogah-Boogah!

When I was younger my family and I went on a little vacation to San Francisco and nearby areas. It was one the first big-city visits in my life so there were a lot of new experiences in store for me. Some of the things I remember the most from that trip was; Alcatraz, really fast cab rides up really steep roads, self-cleaning public restrooms, and paying $2.50 for a soda refill. I also remember the homeless people very vividly. San Francisco has a huge homeless population, and I guess since there are so many of them, and there is so much competition for begging money, the homeless have to get creative if they want money. I saw one guy who would hide behind a big tree branch and scare people as they walk by. Onlookers enjoyed it so much they would tip the hell out of him. Another guy tried to tell us bike parts or as he called them "sprockets" which is also what he told us his head was missing. I was, and still am, a little impressed by some of these guy's creativity.

When I came to Chicago I was a little dissapointed in the lack of creativity of our homeless population. They all just sit there, and literally half of the ones on Michigan Ave hold a sign over their face that says, "I'm just hungry." They're very unoriginal.

Just the other day though I actually came across a San Fran type homelss guy. He held a sign that said, "Why Lie? I need beer money!" and he held a bucket from a Huck Finn-esque fishing pole. I didn't give him any money, but I appreciate his creativity and honesty.

You Been Eatin' Some Corn?

While walking home yesterday I saw a homeless guy taking a shit in a bush. This was on the Magnificent Mile right next to the prestigious Wrigley Building (along the right side of the picture shown) that Frank Sinatra once sang about. A very fitting setting for outdoor defication I know.

P.S. I just woke up from a 12 hour sleep. Damn.