Joke Time (read it out loud)
Why did the duck go to rehab?




...cause he was a quack-head!

Flobee using the Flowbee

If it Smells Like Funk...
After sharing an elevator with my Favorite Neighbor I now know that not only is a pervert, but he also smells awful. Seeing that he's a "whore hound"I guess that's just what a high concentration of gonorrhea smells like.

Feel The Rhythm, Feel The Rhyme...
There's this old Jamaican dude I work with who is one of the most random guys I've ever known. Today, out of nowhere, he comes up to me to tell a little story. He said in a thick Jamaican accent, "I had this bitch back in Jamaica. Prettiest mother fucker on the island, but she was a thief! A damn thief! Her mother was too!"

My Favorite Neighbor
You might remember a previous post I made about a guy in my building who wears a shirt that say's "I Ain't Nothing But a Whore Hound." I just saw the same guy earlier tonight, but this time he was wearing a different shirt. It was made in the same style as the other, except this one said, "I Need a Sexy Sugar Mama." This old dude is officially my favorite neighbor. Fuck Mr. Rogers.

A Blessing and a Curse
Living in Chicago I am blessed with having great musical acts all at my doorstep. Looking at ticketmaster.com and pollstar.com I see Weezer, James Taylor, David Gray, Tommy Castro, Mike Doughty, Bernard Allison, and many others will all be in Chicago in just the next two months. The problem though, is that the people I want to go see these shows with aren't in Chicago. So listen up you sons of bitches. Get on a damn plane and hurry the fuck over. You know who you are.

Best/Worst Idea Ever
If a company can have so much success with a themed restaurant based on the mega-popular film Forrest Gump, maybe I can become rich by opening a restaurant based on another mega-popular film. Except I can make mine based on Schindler's List.

...I'll stop there, but those that know me best, know how much personal restraint that just took me.

GAH!
















Winner of the 2005 Ugliest Dog Contest
Click here for the article

Cheesian Head
Working behind the counter at Kinko's was an Asian guy who spoke with a Wisconsin accent. He also kept saying "sweet" and calling me "boss."

Blew my mind.

New Featured Flava
The previous Flava hasn't been at the top for very long, but the ones below it have overextended their stay on the sidebar list. That and I'm bored as fuck! The one I'm bringing you today is a fantastic classic by the legendary B.B. King. This one should be the themesong for the music lover in you.

Without further ado, I give you I Like To Live The Love. Close your eyes and let this one consume you. Enjoy!