So Wrong, Yet So Wright
It was an action-packed day today at the Democrat table in Wright Plaza. One of the first people I saw when I got there was my favorite guy on campus, the man, the myth, the legend, good ol' Ben Lau. For those of you who aren't familiar with this modern day Casanova, Ben is the goofy Asian kid that spends almost all day walking aimlessly around Wright Plaza talking to girls. He has a thing for Southern girls, so one of the first questions he asks his female prey is, "Were you born in the South?" A "yes" will result in a twinkle in his eye followed by more random questions. A "no" will get you sobbing heartbreak rejection (at least that’s how I’d take it if Ben rejected me). Apparently, someone told him that Southern girls like guys that read the bible, so today he walked around with a little green New Testament open in his hands, telling his female prey he reads the bible, and asks if they read it too. Ben has no shame, and I must admit when it comes to girls, his ball size far exceeds my own by immense proportions. Well played my friend.

Another interesting (maybe) thing that happened today came when a large tour of High School kids were walking through the plaza. Me being the businessman I am saw an opportunity to make some cash. First things first, I needed to reach my target audience with my message. I began a personal selling campaign that involved me yelling out, "Will buy beer for 5 dollars!" Charlie took up his own niche in this new market by providing his service to "buy cigarettes for 5 dollars!" Unfortunately, we didn't get any bites. In fact, the biggest reaction we got was from some old lady supervising the kids. Her reaction was simply establishing eye contact and making a throat slitting motion with her finger and hand. Don't hate the playa, hate the game bitch!

Oh, and the Democrat table was somewhat of a failure today in my eyes. We have some work to do.