Speaking of the Clap

There's this song I listen to called, "Catch My Disease." The lyrics are...
"So please
baby please
Open your heart
Catch my disease"

Naturally of course I sing,

"So please
baby please
Open your legs
Catch my disease"

So sue me, its how I get my thrills.

Don't Tell Mom I Got The Clap

The other night I got the extreme pleasure of seeing the legendary Eric Clapton live in concert at the United Center. I had to work around a broken bus card, a walk through the ghetto, and a homeless lady who wouldn't leave me alone, but I got there and it was fan-fuckin-tastic. My seat was very far away, and the setlist could have been better (in my opinion) but the fact that it was Eric Clapton he could have sat up there and played any damn song and I would have loved it anyway. I like the $35 t-shirt I bought too, despite the fact that it was 35 fucking dollars.

Reviews and Setlist on the sidebar can be see: HERE

On a seperate note, I hate listening to stupid people try to talk intelligently. (see: Any Terrell Owens press conference or interview)

Week 1 Fantasy Review

Here is a sum-up of how my fantasy teams this weekend.

LOSS: Boys' Town Blumpkins 251.40 vs SaucerNip Destroyers 272.13
Notes: LaMont Jordan is an asshole

LOSS: Romsuiag's Rancors 52.50 vs. The Killer Ducks 99.33
Notes: Everyone on my team is an asshole

On the bright side however, is that the Bears shut out the Packers for the first time ever in Brett Favre's career.

Standin' On the Corner...

...of Winslow, Arizona. Not quite, but I am going to Tucson tomorrow which is where my parents recently moved. This will also be the longest vacation (5 days) from work since I started there. It will be nice to get away from the restaurant for a few days and not have to deal with dumb customers, dumb employees, and dumb vendors. I'll be sure to bring back some illegal immigrants with me too.

Thursday is also the start of the 2006 Football season! Go Bears, and both of my fantasy teams!

iDuped

So I was browsing the iTunes music store and they have a section called "Just For You" where they post songs/albums that are similar to the songs/almbums you have on your computer. I saw one song that was titled "Wrigley Field" and I hastily bought it assuming I would love any song about Wrigley (ie "Wrigley Field" by Wesley Willis and "Go Cubs Go" by Steve Goodman). It turns out this song is NOT about the holy heaven the Chicago Cubs play baseball in, but instead its some crappy ass instrumental from some old Randy Newman movie. Worst 99 cents I've ever spent.

In protest I went to the grocery store and started destroying Paul Newman products until I realized it was Randy Newman and not Paul Newman I was protesting.

Akward Times

A few weeks ago my boss-lady tried to get me some Cubs tickets from our Budweiser sales rep. Since Budweiser is an official sponsor of Wrigley Field it's said they always have tickets laying around for their clients. Clients being me. Instead of Cubs tickets the dumb cunt gave us 2 tickets to see Third Eye Blind at the House of Blues. At first I couldn't think of one song by them, but I knew their name and knew they were pop music has-beens. To refresh my memory I listened to song samples on iTunes and then it all came back to me.

Their songs reminded me of my early High School days. Back when the only music I knew about was the then-current pop rock found on the radio station 95.1. It was the only kind I knew about, but I knew I didn't it. If I were to write an autobiography about my life as a listener of music, I would name that chapter, "Lost and Without a Soul"

So instead of watching them live, which is what I would be doing right now, I'm instead bashing them. God bless America!

Call Me Honky

"I like you Cracker"
-One of my wonderful employees

Whippersnappers

While in North Carolina for my brother's wedding, I was on the phone riding in the car with my mom and grandparents. When I got off the phone my grandpa said, "Later,' that's how the young people say "goodbye" now. 'Later."

Funny to get a different perspective on the little things.

Anal Bum Cover

Everyone knows that if you are going to operate a business in today's world you need a domain name. Some companies choose their domain names innocently based on their company/organization's name. Some of us on the other hand see cheap laughs.

1. A site called 'Who Represents' where you can find the name of the
agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name is
www.whorepresents.com

2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at
www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at
www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at
www.therapistfinder.com

5. Then of course, there's the Italian Power Generator company:
www.powergenitalia.com

6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales: www.molestationnursery.com

7. If you're looking for computer software, there's always
www.ipanywhere.com

8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is
www.cummingfirst.com

9. Then, of course, there are these brainless art designers, and their
whacky website: www.speedofart.com

10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at
www.gotahoe.com

Bleacher Bummin'

I got to see my very first Cubs game from the bleachers today. In all the games I've been to I've always ended up in one of the regular seats, but today was different. Its a whole different atmosphere in the bleachers. Its mega-casual, sunny, and has kind of a frat party feel to it. I was also just a mere 8 feet away from catching a home run ball by a John Mabry. Seeing that ball come straight down to me, only to veer to the right at the last few moments was pretty damn cool. One of these days I'd like to actually catch one.